Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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