If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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