He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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