I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
