I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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