dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
