He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
