Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
