I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish you could order shots online.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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