a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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