you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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