i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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