in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
