the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Best friends brother. Beat that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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