it hurts more in the daytime
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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