I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
