I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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