Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Green mimosas i think yes
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
