I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
