I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
