i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
