epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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