i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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