Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
