Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
