Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
