Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
