Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
