i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
