there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize