puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize