nut hugger
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We don't watch enough power rangers
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
