glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
