You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
