I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
