Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
