i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
