Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
