just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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