I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
