there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
