Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
