Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
