my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
high people should be assigned attendants
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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