with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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