Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
