I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
