You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
