just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
