Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
