Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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