i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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