So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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