i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
