I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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