why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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