it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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