"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have aggressive nipples.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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