I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
