idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize