The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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