but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
